"Pinned by Love"

Chapter 1, Part 2

Turning off the light in her son's bedroom, Karena sighed as she stared at her son's sleeping form. The ultimate little boys room seemed to sigh along with her, the peaceful blue walls clad with sporting equiptment and pictures looked on with her. Still, every night when she turned around she expected Ray to be behind her smiling. Sadness clutched her heart as she turned to the emptiness of the hall way. With slow steps, she walked to the guest room turned hers after the funeral. She'd gathered all of her clothes out of that room and the rest she'd left. It had been three years before she actually cleaned the room out. Leaving it for a guestroom, it just didn't seem right to sleep in the room they'd shared alone. Ray was gone, she'd had to face that chilling fact.

The writing desk that crowded the corner of her bedroom, it's surface covered in bills and things that needed to be taken care of. Her heart dropped for her feet as she looked at the balance of her check book and the total amount needed for the water, heat, and electricity to remain on for the next month. Not to mention the cable her son was so fond of. Taking a deep breath and expelling it, she vowed to thank God once more for today and for her son's company. For his excitement over every little thing, and even his repulsion to water.

The box of envelopes that usually sat atop her desk perfectly, was askew and devoid of envelopes. Her mouth gaped as she looked at the tiny prints on each scattered envelope. The dirt from behind her desk now covered every envelope except for the two with stamps on the back of the envelope. A smile stretched her lips as she picked up each and peeked at them. One was addressed to a "Myss-ter Briunt Evret", the other simply to Dad marked "Hvn" in childish scrawl. Tears burned her eyes as she held each in her hands. Fumbling with it, she finally opened it and looked aghast at the letter inside. On a large piece of red construction paper, Gabe's favorite, was written a simple note that read:

"Deer Dad,

It's your son, Gabriel. I am six now, it's been a long time since I saw you. I hope you aren't mad, but I don't remember much about you, Dad. Mom tries, but she cries a lot. A hole lot. I want to meet Briunt Evret, like you did. Mom showed me a picture of you two together. What do you think?

From: Gabe."

Her heart in her throat, Karena wiped her eyes dropping the letter into the drawer. Sighing again, she glanced toward the ceiling. "I do miss you a lot, Ray." she whispered.

The words from Gabe's letter stayed with her as she finished writing out checks, and cleaned up her work space. As she climbed into her bed, she felt the weight of the world on her shoulders and she turned out the lights praying for a day better than the one she'd endured. For understanding and strength to be both mother and father to her little boy. The weight seemed to clamp on tighter as she closed her eyes, and in doing so tried to close out the pain that the world brought to her soul.

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